Men
Not only women are victims of Domestic Abuse. Men can be, and frequently are, also victims of abuse in the home, either at the hands of their female or, in the case of same-sex relationships, their male partner.
At the centre of abuse is a control - abusers believe they have the right to manipulate, control and humiliate another person, and this belief is not only held by some men but also by some women. It is important that any disclosure is taken seriously, and that support and help is available when needed, regardless of gender.
Many of the effects of abuse are the same for men as for women. They are likely to feel deeply shamed, frightened, experience a loss of self-worth and confidence, feel isolated, guilty and confused about the situation. A lot of male victims of abuse however, have great difficulty defining it as such.
The image our western society generally has of men, is that they are strong, domineering and macho. Boys, even at a young age, are taught that it is unmanly to cry. To many, the idea of a grown man being frightened or vulnerable is a taboo, the idea of a man - usually physically the stronger - of being abused, ludicrous. Hence many male victims of abuse may feel “less of a man” for suffering abuse, feel as though they are in some way not manly enough and ought to have the ability to prevent the abuse.
The reality though is that even if a man is physically attacked by their wives or partners, many will deliberately ‘take it’ rather than hitting back to defend themselves and risk harming their attacker. If they do ‘hit back’ , they are aware that they then risk being accused of being an abuser themselves. But abuse is not always physical, and a lot of men, in common with many women, face daily emotional, verbal and psychological abuse in silence for years, their self-esteem being slowly eroded away, more and more isolated from those around them.
The Men’s Advice Line can offer you help and support - see the Website and Downloads tab for more information.
