Why stay?

• Fear of further violence
• Lack of knowledge and access to help
• Economic dependence
• Staying because of the children
• Social isolation
• Emotional dependence
• Lack of confidence
• Cultural reasons

Fear of further violence:

Leaving may end the relationship but it doesn't always end the violence and abuse. Many women are tracked down and further abused when they leave, often for weeks and months afterwards. Research suggests that about half of all women murdered by their partners have left or were in the process of leaving when they were killed.

Lack of knowledge and access to help:

Despite increased awareness about domestic violence, many women don't know how to take advantage of their legal and housing rights. Even if they are aware of these services, some women may experience problems due to language difficulties, inappropriate responses from service providers, living in isolated areas or a lack of funds.

Economic dependence:

If a woman is working, she may lose her job due to needing time off work, moving too far away or staying off work so she can't found there. For other women, becoming a single parent may mean working is no longer possible; others may face months of legal wrangling over property and other financial matters.

Staying because of the children:

Many abused women think they should stay in their relationship for the sake of their children.

Social isolation:

Most women experiencing domestic violence are extremely isolated either because their partners have deliberately tried to isolate them from sources of support including family and friends or because women are too ashamed or afraid to tell anyone. Or if they have, the responses have been unhelpful and judgmental.

Emotional dependence:

Conflicting feelings of fear, shame, bewilderment, care for the abuser, hope that things will improve, a commitment to the relationship but not the violence, often contribute to a woman staying in an abusive situation.

Lack of confidence:

After living with an abusive partner, the self-esteem of most women has been eroded to the point where they no longer have confidence in themselves, including their ability to survive alone, and may believe that there are no other options.

Cultural reasons:

Many women have been brought up to believe that real fulfilment comes from being a wife and mother or that divorce is wrong and may even be encouraged to stay in the relationship by family members or religious leaders.